have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
