Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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