Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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