he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
i've created a new STD.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
