I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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