Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
