i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
