I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
