Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
