in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
