i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
