Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
