The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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