So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
