I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
