You're so nebulous sometimes
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
