I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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