I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
