i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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