There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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