your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize