Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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