The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
