I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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