Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Randomize
