what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
