So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
