do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
