I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
