I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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