These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
