I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
