i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She's the barista slut.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
