none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
