my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
