Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
