he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
