my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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