I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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