eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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