she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Randomize
