Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
