when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
