At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
