Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
