as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I love how my cats smell like pot.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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