He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
