Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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