i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
