Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
