when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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