he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
