Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
