I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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