Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
