Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
