The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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