you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
