There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
