So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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